Do You Get Burnt Out Playing With Your Kids?

[Shannon Entin]

Hi everyone! I've been having an issue lately and I hope some of you will chime in with your experiences. My son is 9 and we don't live in an area where he can just go outside and play with neighborhood kids. Any playtime involves me arranging a playdate and driving him somewhere. I don't mind this and I do it often, but as he gets older I can see that he is craving more time being active with other boys. He wants me to wrestle, play swords, play Star Wars, make a fort outside, etc. And I just can't do it. I'm good with board games and enjoy doing crafts and schooling with him, but he just seems to ALWAYS want to play crazy-active stuff. I have him in sports and exercise classes, but he's got so much freakin' energy!!

Anyone been through this stage and have any advice?

[Mrs Fussy Fussypants]

I am blessed (and sometimes not so much, LOL) with four sons. The oldest is 9, just like yours!

They do play rough outside and burn off energy together. Even with hours of running around they still jump, wrestle and demolish the house all day! I'm in the stage too.

Looking for help right there with ya! ;)

[Alicia Cornils]

Oh, man. I don't know what I would do--that's why I have so many kids, so they can play with each other! They're still crazy with the energy, and I spend a lot of time telling them to mellow out, but thank goodness I don't have to play swords!

[Laurie Ann Cleary]

You would'nt think of offering to homeschool a boy near his age or anything, would you? That's what a friend of mine did who had just one boy, or you could get him to be in charge of something that he had to work on like a something with a homeschooling group or scouts?

[Tamra Klaty]

A couple years ago when my oldest was 9, we noticed he needed more physically tiring stuff. But instead of focusing on play, we gave him work. Boys especially need a strong work ethic, and 9 is the age they start budding into becoming a young man. At first our son balked a little at the "work", but when he realized how much it contributed to the family he really stepped up. My kids have a lot of time for play, but they also work hard physically first. I've noticed it changes a lot in the way they appreciate real, imaginative play.
For 2 years we lived on a farm, so he had lots of chores that way - feeding and caring for animals, stacking firewood, etc.
Now that we are currently in a neighborhood I've had to be more creative. He's helped older neighbors with their yard work, for just one idea.
It helps if its something he's interested in or can make a small amount of money at... then in his mind he's kind of "playing" and its not just another chore.

[Bev]

My boys are 11 and 4, with a girl in between them at age 9. I feel guilty a lot for not playing with them more. But it is really hard for me, the older I get. My imagination is quickly fading! Thankfully, we have a great homeschool group where they can be with other kids at least once a week. That helps a lot!

I still find myself thinking quite often that I need to find another 11 year old boy for my son to spend some time with and get all the 11-year-old-boy-humor out of his system!

[HRH]

With boys it is always about energy management. It is one of the reasons why we home school because sitting and boys just doesn't go well together. Mine spend hours outdoors...and hours...and hours pretty much in any weather. On really rainy days I might set up an obstacle course or treasure hunt thoughout the house to get them started and then let it take on a life of its own. It is really hard to keep them occupied, but it keeps them out of trouble.

I second the finding someone else to study with. We invite a friend over to study at least one day a week as a treat.

[Beckie Tetrault]

Ugh, it's my 5 year old daughter that is killing me! :) She is constantly in need of entertainment, and no matter how I try to direct her to activites that she can do on her own, she always wants mama to be with her, play with her, craft with her, and on and on and on....

I just need to find a way to get my two to actually play together, and I think things will calm down some :)

[Alicia Cornils]

Me too; except I have twin 5 year olds, and they both cling by me all day. Apparently I'm very entertaining. Who knew?

[Rachel]

I have a soon to be 5 year and and 2 year old. I sometimes wish I would have had them closer together. They play pretty good together but the 2 year old doesn't always understand what the older one wants. They end up getting frustrated with each other. We want to have 2 more kids so hopefully they will be closer in age.

[Janet]

Well, I have a 6 year old daughter who is just as active and physical as any boy I've ever seen! She's been that way since day one. My 4 yr. old son is not near as athletic and energetic as my daughter. The kids often play well together until:
--Sarah becomes too bossy. (She's naturally very mothering and authoritative with her younger brother).
--Kerry becomes too annoying. (He enjoys "picking" at Sarah; "pushing her buttons, etc.).
--or my son Kerry just runs out of energy. (His stamina has never been like Sarah's!)

Both my kids enjoy rough housing with their dad when he comes home--karate, wrestling, etc.

During the day, I try to make sure the kids get plenty of time outside in the backyard, we go to parks often, and the kids play with neighborhood friends (once the neighborhood kids get home from school). Sarah has also played T-ball and soccer, and we are involved with our local home-school group.

I do try to play with them and stay active with them, but of course I run out of steam. I can identify with Beckie when it comes to my daughter. Sarah doesn't just like the physical stuff, but she always wants to be doing something! She LOVES crafting too, and since Kerry has no interest in that stuff, she thinks Mommy must be available whenever she wants!

Well, anyway, I really do find that things go better if I have some kind of general plans for them, and then remember to keep things flexible! If I don't at least plan, guide, direct, etc., chaos usually ensues!!

[Janet]

P.S. As if my "book" of a response I wrote earlier wasn't enough, right? I was just reminded of someone's comment about chores. Chores are great for kids with lots of energy who need to accomplish things...and hey, chores are just good for kids anyway. No, I don't think we should make slaves out of our kids, have them waiting on us all the time or anything like that. However, it is good for kids to have certain jobs to do around the house. So far, with the chores thing, I have "played it by ear." Sarah has actually started to ask to do certain things. She likes feeling like a "big girl," feeling like she's accomplished something, and I think she likes earning a little allowance too! Sarah raked some leaves today and did some dishes--both of which she offered to do! I think it's great for children to learn the value of work at an early age and to learn how to do some of these necessary daily activities. That way, they won't grow up being clueless and helpless (like I kind of was when I first got married!)

So, if you're looking for some ways to get your kid to burn off some extra energy, grab a rake, a shovel, some garden tools, etc., and let him/her make you proud! Yes, it may take a little extra time and patience in the beginning when they're learning, but you may be pleasantly surprised in just a little while!

[Tamra Klaty]

What? They're not supposed to wait on us hand and foot?? But that's what got me through the first couple years of their life! Grin! LOL!

I was recently reading about worm farming. You sell their castings for gardens. Sounds really interesting, and simple enough for kids to do. Just on idea if one is limited on space, but like the idea of children learning to care for living things. Man, I miss our farm for that reason!