How do you handle the doubters?

[Mrs Fussy Fussypants]

We have all heard it-

"What about ~dramatic pause~ socialization?"
"Well, better you than me."
"Do you really think you can teach them as well as a school?

The naysayers, they are everywhere and love to be negative about every topic.


Personally, I say some mumbo-jumbo like, "It works for our family." I always tell people that because I have boys I don't want them stuck in a desk all day. I want them to have a desire for knowledge and not dread learning.

How do you handle them?

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Great! I may have to use #9 sometime to see the face! And #6 is TOO true.

[Cyndy]

I love this...especially #10....I often have to refrain from saying, " Socialization? Why don't you know we have locked our children in a closet and don't plan on letting them out until they're eighteen?"
Honestly?! What are people thinking?

[Lori]

Ah, that's too cute!

[Suz]

That's great! I like #6 - that's what I feel like at this stage in our lives!

[Rachel]

This is hilarious! I love #7 :) lol

[Kacie]

OK, I'm not a mama yet, and I don't homeschool (but I'm considering it!). I attended public schools from K-college. So, if I don't belong here, please kick me out, Fussy!

Anyway, I wanted to say this:

The "socialization" you get in public schools is absurd.

The younger years are fine.

But middle school? Oh my goodness. And high school--watch out. You'll be socialized, alright--cliques, not being able to fit in, crazy standards/expectations, peer pressure, bullying...it can be brutal.

I feel like I got out OK, but my younger sister is having a really rough time.

And, a public school's classroom is NOT like the real world. Please tell me where in the world you spend 7+ hours per day in one room with 30 people within 1-12 months of your age? Yeah. Never.

It was strange getting used to my first job, where I was the youngest person by like 15 years. My socialization didn't really help me there.

So, to people who think homeschooler's aren't socialized--I think they're nuts.

[Rachel]

I hate the whole socialization issue. I grew up in Eastern Ky on the side of a mountain. We homeschooled almost the entire time I lived there. My dad pastored a small church that had very few kids my age. During the week my only playmate was my younger brother.
When I was in the seventh grade we moved to MD and started attending a Christian school. My social problem was understanding why kids were so mean to each other. I could not comprehend somebody not liking me because I had a southern accent or wore hand-me-downs.
I just don't understand what people are talking about when they ask about socialization. Do they mean what will happen if my kids are not exposed to cruelty by other kids, or drugs, etc. I don't plan on totally sheltering my kids from real life but good grief, kids learn better manners from their parents than other kids.

Venting is over :) Anyways, when I mention homeschooling I more often get "You're glutton for punishment, I couldn't wait to send my kids to school". I just roll my eyes and say I like my kids and can't stand the thought of sending them away.

[Leslie]

i couldn't image sending my boys away either. i actually like my boys for the people they are.

[Kacie]

That is heartbreaking! Kids are so cruel. I don't understand how they get that way...could it be because they spend their waking hours in a room full of 30 kids with limited adult supervision? Perhaps.

I'm sorry you were treated that way.

[Rachel]

aww Thanks! I actually went to a small private school with about 10 kids per classroom though. If a child wants to be cruel, they'll find a way.
Don't worry it didn't scar me for life or anything. In fact, I think it helped. I knew that I could never keep up with the other kids; my parents did not have much money to buy new clothes let alone name brand. So I learned to ignore them and focus more on academics and I made close friends with many older people at school and church. Peer pressure was never a problem for me. I now have many friends of many different ages from teen to people in their 80s.

[Leslie]

my MIL will not talk about it anymore. when we first mentioned homeschooling to her , her first question was about socailization. i asked when he would ever need to know how to socialize with 30 people all his age at the same time, how unrealistic. her second was "do you know calculus?" What!? OK i do know caluculs, but that is besides the point. i just said that we could learn it together, when the time comes.....mind you my eldest is 4.

for more snappy come backs check out debbie markus' The bitter Homeschoolers wish list. it's pretty funny too.

[Amy W]

We found that when some of the family was upset about the socialization issue what they were really thinking is what my kiddos will miss out on in high school- like sports, and clubs and Prom and such.
I have to admit that I find that laughable. There are people out in the world living "normal" lives who never played sports or joined clubs or *gasp* went to prom! And they were in public school!
My husband's family is very sports oriented-- all the grandchildren that are in or have gone thru highschool so far were all sports nuts.
And we've broken the mold.
Its not that there aren't opportunities for us out there or that we won't ever never allow our children to be in sports . . . . there is a large homeschool association about 40 min. from us that has its own sports teams and even holds a yearly prom and graduation! Plus our local school system is open to homeschoolers participating in the extracurriculars from band to track and everything in between.
The simple fact is- why should that be important? While all our graduated neices and nephews excelled in certain sports none of them went on to college level. What if my kids were in public school and yet still chose not to be a part of these activities? Would they still look at us as if we've lost our minds or would they say it was our choice?